Is facebook our modern prayer…

In a society where we believe there is a logical explanation to everything, where God is minimized to only maybe being there and maybe being some chemical reactions in our brain… Where do we then turn, when we have something in our hearts that we need to cry out to someone, someone who will listen no matter what, when or where we are overwhelmed with a feeling…

My facebook prayer doesn’t have a specific target, yet I hope for some kind of response… It’s this feeling of something being so important for me in this very moment, that I can’t keep it for myself, yet I don’t know who to share it with because it is so overwhelming personal…

My way of expressing my facebook prayer may be different from yours… yet prayers are all different around the world….

But who listens in the other end of the facebook prayer…. God?

I haven’t felt like writing the blog for a long time…. Now this is my facebook prayer for tonight.

The loss of someone special

There are certain situations we just can’t prepare ourselves for. There are certain situations we should not prepare ourselves for even though we know we are most certain to face them at some point in our life. There are certain persons we cannot imagine living without. Not even when they are already gone. There are certain things we cannot understand. And maybe there are certain things we should not understand.

I faced one of these situations, I lost one of those persons and I am left with one of these questions that I will never know the answer to –at least not in this world or in this life.

There are two people in my life I know have always loved me, who I have always been able to turn to for comfort, who would support me in anything I decided to do… Those two people taught me that real love is not depending on who you are, what you are, what you do, what you say or even what you think  –true love is when you love someone for just being. These two people have always loved me for just being since they knew I was going to be.

I have lost one of these two precious people… I have lost the one man who would give up anything for me, who knew me better than anyone, who loved me more than any man will ever love me.

It seems my life should stop. How can anything else be important when I have lost one of these precious person? My sadness should be taking over everything.

It is and it is not… I am continuing... so are everybody else… we have to, we need to… we cannot do anything else…

Many words can be spoken about the matter and none of them will really do… because one feeling is so strong… the missing… missing the routines, the things we shared, the comfort, the support, the laugher, the things that were and the things that we thought were to be…

Nothing will ever be the same, only the love… Because this very special and precious man, my dad, will always be missed…

And still, I continue, we continue because everything else continues…

I wish I dared....

I wish I wish I wish….

I wish the timing would have been better.

An opportunity has arisen in front of me. It would be perfect for me. I am the right person for this opportunity and I would find it challenging, rewarding and exciting. But the timing is against me… I have finally settled down in Denmark with a nice and well paid job. I am enjoying life with my friends and I have the perfect accommodation with one of my absolute best friends. This is the good life.

In half a year or a year I would be ready for a new adventure… I would be without job, I would have saved money for the adventure and I would have had plenty of time to enjoy life in Denmark to reach the point where I got so bored with it that I would seriously want a new adventure…

I wish the timing would be better.

But most of all I wish I dared….

Even if the timing had been better, would I have taken this opportunity? I would have been scared of the commitment, the challenges which would be greater than any previous challenge I have faced. It would be for a year and the context which I know but which is still so strange to me would challenge me immensely! But it is also an opportunity that lies so close to my heart. It represent exactly the challenges that all my ambitions and dreams involve… saying goodbye to the comfortable life in Denmark, saying goodbye to my family and friends here to go out in the world and do what I dream to do. It involves a rollercoaster lifestyle, situations where I have no idea what to do except that I know I have to do something… It involves trusting people who I have no idea if I can trust because I need them and can’t do anything without them. It involves failure and disappointments over the things I didn’t do, I didn’t achieve or didn’t do good enough…

Still I wish I dared… and I wish I could convince myself that timing is irrelevant when an opportunity that one just has to pursue arise….

Most people would think I am crazy if I pursue this opportunity… if I gave up what I have now in order to do so…. But at the same time I think most of the people would not be surprised that I consider it… however, I know that it would have to be myself who take such decision, my own dream which should make me overcome my fear, my trust in my dream and myself…

Oh I wish I dared…. I wish I dared dream for real!!!!

One needs to dare dreaming even when one can’t act on it right away

I have previously told you about how I am now living my dream. But when living one dream, another one is formed. I am now living and working in Copenhagen. You could say that I am daily working on finding the best solutions to some of the global challenges that our society faces. I feel privileged and I am happy to live in Copenhagen which is a city where I can enjoy life, ensure a decent living and getting into the field that I am passionate about. But I also feel restless. I feel distanced from the realities of the people I want to help. I feel too comfortable and a little bit bored. A new a dream is being formed…

When an idea is set in your heart, when a dream is being formed… what do you do?

You may choose to always keep it to yourself in your heart because you’re afraid it will get ruined if other people may question it or that it will simply lose its shine when outspoken. You may be afraid someone else will take it and act on it before you can. You may keep it as a sweet reminder when things get too tough around you, keeping you warm by promising you that one day you will act on it –but that day may just never come.

Or you may tell everybody about it, make it big and glamorous and get high on other people’s recognition and respect when you tell about your dream. You may constantly plan how you will act on your dream and keep adding new details to the dream which grows the dream bigger and bigger. One day the dream may get so big that you tell yourself that it is time to be realistic and forget about it. For some time you forget about the dream and then a new dream comes by and you repeat the same with this… and so it continues…

The difference lies in acting on your dreams.

But what makes you actually act on your dream? And when you can’t act straight away on your dream, what makes you keep your promise to yourself to act on it? I wish to somehow make sure that my dream will become real. That I will act on it when time comes for it. But I can’t be sure… For now my dream can only be a dream. Time will show if my dream will become more than that. Till then I have to believe in my dream, take the small steps which will get me closer to realizing it…  

I need to dare dreaming even when I can’t act on them right away.

Changing one person's life at a time -is it enough?

Wish I could be happy with changing just one person’s life at a time… It would be so much easier… but maybe it would be too easy. Maybe it would be more realistic. But is it ambitious enough?

Life is beautiful –but do you really need to slow down to enjoy it?!

I am the kind of person who enjoys being busy –that’s when I feel I live the most, I get the most out of my life and I am not wasting a minute… but sometimes when I am  busy living, I also forget to recognize how beautiful life is…. I am busy seeing all kind of people and not paying enough attention to the individual conversation, the silent moment with a good friend or family member, the new and interesting people I meet all the time or the old friends who may need me or who I may need but I forget or don’t find the time to share my thoughts and feelings with. I sometimes get so busy doing all kind of things, working, volunteer work, exercise and so on, that everything get so sqeezed into my schedule that there is no time for enjoying the sunshine, to do something impulsive, for thinking about why I am doing what I am doing and if I am really doing what I should be doing.

Sometimes it takes all my energy and I feel it is  too much… but I would not want to swap it for a quite life… A life where I would have to choose to only do some of the things which I am passionate about, or only see some of the people who I love or only see people I already know.

Right now my life is a bit overwhelming with all the things going on, with all the new people I am getting to know, and with finding my spot here in the grown-ups’ world. But I like to believe that when I am getting more use to all this then I will be busy but I will also find the moments for silence, for thinking, for sharing and for recognizing the beauty of my life. At least I hope so because I love being busy and when I have a moment for clearing my thoughts I know that I would not want it to be different.

Missing my girls

This post is dedicated to some very special people –my girls…

Nothing makes life so beautiful as good friends.

These are the girls I have told my deepest secrets, shared my dreams and plans with, cried and laughed with.

I have left them several times when I have been travelling… I have missed them as well! But this time it feels different…  I always knew where to find them and that they would still be there when I returned. This time they are all over the place and I am here in Copenhagen, intending to stay here and they are intending to stay more or less where they are…

I use to meet with them during the summer in the park and have bubble-wine and chill out. Or meet for a coffee in the cafeteria at Uni or a café, talking about guys, frustrations with the studies or all the other duties we have. We use to get together for dinner at one of ours places.

This was then. Now we are either in different places or our lifes have changed to become busy with job and other duties. Our friendships are no less important or strong but things will never be the same. Now we meet during weekends for a party, a dinner or a cup of coffee or we talk over the phone…

I wish they were here with me in Copenhagen and we would have more time together. To meet in the park on a sunny Sunday, for a coffee in a café, for dinner and red wine, for shopping, for the cinema or a good movie at home… Some of them are here… but many of them are not… I will meet new great people, but they will never replace my girls.

When times have turned hard on me, these girls have been on my side. These are the girls who never judged me for whatever I have done. These are the girls who may think I am a bit crazy but who always support me in whatever plan or dream I tell them about.

 “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

This post is dedicated to my girls; Anne ,Bibi, Edith, Lene, Line, Maria, Stine and Stinne

Miss you girls ;)